How Eileen Vormwald spends Christmas morning

A while back I wrote about the stats available on WordPress, and mentioned the phenomenon of the near-spam commenter. This is the occasional comment that comes up   marked as potential spam, but WordPress isn’t sure. At the time, I didn’t have any really good examples, but recently I got a classic, from someone called Eileen Vormwald:

Excellent items from you, man. I’ve take note your stuff prior to and you’re simply too excellent. I actually like what you’ve received here, certainly like what you’re saying and the best way during which you assert it. You make it entertaining and you continue to take care of to stay it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. That is really a terrific web site.

Now, I think my writing is usually at best marginally above mediocre. Occasionally, I manage to express something well enough that I get a compliment. But by no stretch of the imagination does the above paragraph apply – I’m neither ‘too excellent’ nor ‘terrific’. So I decided to do a bit of investigation on this Ms Vormwald – if only to find out whether she really does have such poor taste all the time, or whether this was a momentary indiscretion.

I found four other references to her – all comments on blogs. And they’re so fascinating, that I’ve decided to go into a bit more detail. They’re interesting, not so much for their content, but for the diverse nature of the content of the blogs.

Comment 1 – on “What to do if your Credit Card was stolen

This is a personal finance blog, with this article dealing with the obvious steps of reporting your card as stolen, and suchlike. Eileen’s comment was

I like this web blog it’s a master cut! Glad I noticed this on google.

I’m not sure what a master cut is, but it probably has something to do with sharp, incisive writing.

Comment 2 – on “Lizard Love

Here’s a cute blog – called Doggies, Moggies and Beyond, with this particular post being about a cat cuddling with a bearded dragon. Just the sort of thing a person interested in stolen credit cards will dabble in when they need a break. The comment this time was remarkably similar:

I  like this web site it’s a master piece! Glad I noticed this on google.

I’m not sure whether the switch from cut to piece is indicative of anything, but it just might be…

Comment 3 – on “LEGO Harry Potter Hogwarts Castle

Now, just when you think you’ve got Eileen pinned down as a kitten-loving financier, she surprises again, with an interest in Lego. A Harry Potter Castle set, no less. Which leaves me wondering – is it the Harry Potter that gets her going, or is it the Lego? Her comment leaves the issue open, as all she says is:

Simply a smiling visitor here to share the love (:, btw outstanding design .

So, it appears to be neither – it’s the design that impresses her! She’s not really interested in Lego at all – she just wants to share the love with those Harry Potter Lego types. I wonder – is that why the smiley is backwards?

Comment 4 – On “Like bringing a frig to a battleship fight

Alright – at this point, I have no clue what this woman is on. This appears to be a Star Trek-type space gamers blog. I have no idea what this guy is talking about – it’s all T1 this and Herbinger that, with a lot of importance on killmails. But Eileen is one up on me. She finds it all “interesting”, and enough inside info to make a telling in-joke about age:

Regards for all your efforts that you have put in this. Very interesting info. “There is still no cure for the common birthday.” by John Glenn.

I just don’t know where to begin. It’s so close to being completely random that I just don’t know. But there’s one more thing – the dates of the comments are all provided, and the last three were all made on Christmas Day, 2011. Ranging from just before 5am, to midday.

Sometimes I think I might just be starting to understand people. But then I find someone who is interested in Space games, Harry Potter Lego, and cute bearded dragons, and is willing to spend all of Christmas morning looking into them, and putting in the effort to comment on them. And now I’m thoroughly intrigued. This is the sort of person who would be infinitely entertaining. So Eileen – if you do ever come back, and you are a real person (which I do have to doubt, as there’s no other record of you online apart from these four references, and the comment you left on my blog), please comment again – I’d love to find out more about you.

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8 Responses to How Eileen Vormwald spends Christmas morning

  1. Jill McNeil says:

    A most excellent and masterful cut of a piece. xoxox

  2. I absolutely love the theme on this webpage. Would you let me know where to get it? Thanks!

  3. Is there a problem with the RSS feed here. Appears to be a missing link to me?

  4. Lacy Veloso says:

    Thanks so much for sharing such fantastic posts. Your website is truly informative and filled with really great content. I am impressed by the info that you have written it shows how well you perceive the subject. I’ve bookmarked your website page and plan to return regularly for additional great updates. Thanks again, your hard work is appreciated!

  5. Alex says:

    Oh my goodness, this was hilarious!
    Perhaps Eileen and Lacy are friends!

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